Page 141 - English Expedition Class 6

MAN : I see. And how many guinea pigs have died from drinking poisonous soup?
WAITER : Well . . . it’s very hard to tell. Guinea pigs don’t really know how to swim, so some of
them may have just plain drowned . . . or died of natural causes.

MAN : How many have died IN GENERAL?

WAITER : In the past two months?

MAN : Since you started using them.
WAITER : Th at was two months ago.

5
MAN : FINE. Stop stalling ! How many guinea pigs have died in your soup?
WAITER : Twenty fi ve.

MAN : Hmmm. Tell me, do you get many customers coming back to this restaurant?
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WAITER : Well, we are on a major highway here. We see a constant fl ow of new patrons .
MAN : So, it doesn’t really bother you that you’ll never get repeat business from any sane
human being?

WAITER : Well, that’s the way it goes. Some
people have no concern for their • Why does the waiter insist upon
own safety. You can eat in another correcting the customer’s mistake about
restaurant if you want to. Sure; see the animal rather than apologizing?
if I care. Go somewhere else where • What is the policy of the restaurant to
they don’t taste-test the food with safeguard customers’ lives?
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sterilized lab animals if you want
• What excuse does the waiter off er for
to. Like I said, we don’t need your the death of the guinea pigs?
business. Do you have any idea
how many people are killed by
food poisoning in restaurants each year? Do you? I do! (He pulls out a huge fanfold
report .) THOUSANDS! But the name of this restaurant does not appear on this list.
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We have not had one customer die of food poisoning. NOT ONE!

MAN : I can believe that. It’s probably because nobody eats anything here! Who in their right
mind is going to eat a bowl of soup that they’ve just picked a hamster out of? Sterilized
or not?
WAITER : It’s a guinea pig.

MAN : I don’t care if it’s a muskrat ! I can’t believe anyone would share their soup with one.
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For one thing, they’d have to be quick. Th is little guy’s just fi nished mine!

5 stalling: speaking or acting in a roundabout way to gain 8 fanfold report: an offi cial report printed on paper which is
more time to deal with a situation dotted with holes at regular intervals
6 patron: (here) customer 9 muskrat: a furry rodent with a musky smell, commonly
7 sterilized: made free from bacteria or other found in North America
microorganisms
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